there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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