2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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