Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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