Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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