He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
