i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He keeps bees of course he's weird
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
