You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize