Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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