so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
