In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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