Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
The adults are the big ones right?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
