Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
