I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
