There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
