Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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