Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
