chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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