all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Dear god my vagina.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
