So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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