It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
