I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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