White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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