Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
