she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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