erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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