You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
