as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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