Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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