Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
