There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
How naked do you want me to be?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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