i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
