why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
