Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
