I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
