yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
