My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
