I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My dick has a subreddit
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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