She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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