I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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