Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Randomize
