i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
