fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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