no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
