You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
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