Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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