I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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