so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
