Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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