every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
