Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Someone shit on the floor
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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