Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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