between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
