just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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