We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She announced her abortion via fbk
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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