you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
