Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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