I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
My liver just broke up with me...
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
