Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
