That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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