google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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