the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I woke up under a house in Key West
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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