she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
