i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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