dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
420 ftw
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
