Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just found puke in my bra..
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Randomize
