I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
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