if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
