I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
