Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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